This was heard on Loren and Wally on WROR radio in Boston. (spoken with a Maine accent)
Defendent to judge:
"What would you do if I called you a son-of-a-bitch?"
"I'd hold you in contempt of court and sentence you to 5 days in jail."
"Well, what would you do if I THOUGHT you were a son-of-a-bitch?"
"There is nothing I could about your thoughts."
"Well, then I THINK you are a son-of-a-bitch."