Interesting quotes

  • I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up. They have no holidays.
    – Henny Youngman

  • The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
    – Calvin Trillin

  • Let me tell you the one thing I have against Moses. He took us forty years into the desert in order to bring us to the one place in the Middle East that has no oil!
    – Golda Meir

  • Even a secret agent can't lie to a Jewish mother.
    – Peter Malkin

  • My idea of an agreeable person is a person who agrees with me.
    – Benjamin Disraeli

  • It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
    – Sam Levenson

  • God will pardon me. It's His business.
    – Heinrich Heine

  • I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
    – Joe E. Lewis

  • Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.
    – Sam Goldwyn

  • A spoken contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
    – Sam Goldwyn

  • I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
    – Jackie Mason

  • I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
    – Woody Allen

  • Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants to live in an institution?
    – Groucho Marx

  • Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
    – Groucho Marx

  • A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he comes to it.
    – Oscar Levant

  • Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy serving drinks or cutting hair.
    – George Burns

  • Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
    – Mort Sahl

  • A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
    – Milton Berle

  • I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.
    – Sam Goldwyn

  • Television is a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
    – Ernie Kovacs