Gentle Thoughts for Today

  • Birds of a feather flock together ... and then crap on your car.

  • A penny saved is a government oversight.

  • The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

  • The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends.

  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement .

  • He who hesitates is probably right.

  • Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

  • If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

  • If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

  • The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

  • There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

  • Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs.'

  • Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

  • The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

  • Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

  • When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.

  • You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

  • One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

  • First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. It's worse when you forget to pull it down.