With apologies to those who are blonde. You can substitute whatever other hair color or feature you like!

A Blonde's Year in Review

January: Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
 
February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllooo!!!.....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
 
March: Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
 
April: Trapped on the Macy's escalator for hours after the power went out!!
 
May: Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
 
June: Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
 
July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
 
August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
 
September:  The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???
 
October: Hate M&M's.....they are so hard to peel.
 
November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
 
December: Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!!



The Bus Trip

Two groups of women, one of all Blondes and one of all Brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a week long trip throughout Arizona. The Grand Canyon, Painted Desert, Sedona, Lake Powell, and much more are on the itinerary.

The Brunettes ride on the bottom level of the bus.
The Blondes ride on the top level.

The Brunette team down below is whooping it up having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the Blondes upstairs. She decides to get up and investigate.

When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes paralyzed in fear, staring straight ahead at the road, and clutching the seats in front of them with white knuckles.

The Brunette asks, "What the heck's going on up here? We're having a great time downstairs!"

One of the Blondes looks up at her, swallows hard and says,

"Yeah, but you've got a driver!"



Doctor's visit

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and claims that her body hurts wherever she touches it.

"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."

The redhead takes her finger, pushes on her left knee and screams in pain. Then she pushes her elbow and screams in even more. She pushes her stomach and screams and then she pushes her ankle and screams even louder. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

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